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Saturday, March 12, 2016

My Plans Are Not His Plans

*I* am going to work at Hardees all school year.

*I* am going to save enough money to go to college.

*I* am going to graduate in May.

*I* am going to work at camp this summer.

*I* am going to go to college this fall.

This was my mindset all this last fall. *I* had my senior year all planned out...or so I thought.

That was until December 16 when my doctor called with the news that my foot was infected...again. I had to quit my job at Hardees and have the first of two surgeries on January 13th. The first surgery, they removed the infected part of the tibia and replaced it with an antibiotic-filled cement spacer. They also put a central line in in order to give me intravenous antibiotics for 6 weeks. That surgery was followed by a second surgery this last Wednesday in which they removed the cement spacer and replaced it with a rod and four screws.

Throughout these last three months, the Lord has been teaching me trust. Before I found out my foot was infected again, my whole mindset was "I am going to do this. I am going to do that." I wasn't trusting the Lord at all, I was trying to do everything in my own strength. Then shortly after I found out my foot was infected, the Lord brought to mind Jeremiah 29:11-13 which says:

"For I know the thoughts I think toward you, 
saith the Lord, 
thoughts of peace, and not of evil, 
to give you an expected end. 
Then shall ye call upon me, 
and ye shall go and pray unto me, 
and I will hearken unto you. 
And ye shall seek me, and find me, 
when we shall search for me with all your heart." 

The Lord has really been teaching me to trust in Him for everything. Many people have asked me if I still plan on going to Ambassador for college this fall and how I'm going to pay for it. Honestly, I have no idea where the money is going to come from. I have enough money in savings to pay the first payment in June but beyond that, I don't know. Yes, I have thought and prayed about maybe staying home for a year and working but every time I do, the Lord brings Ambassador back to the forefront of my mind. I am not able to go back to working fast food because of the amount of stress it puts on my feet and the Lord hasn't shown any other job options. Right now I am just trusting the Lord and if He wants me to go to college, He will provide the money and if not, He will show me what else He wants me to do.  

I am praising the Lord that my plans are not His plans and am looking forward to what else He has to teach me through the rest of this recovery time. Prayers would be appreciated as I spend the next six weeks in a wheelchair and then have six weeks of partial weight bearing before I am completely back on my feet. 



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